to my dear daughter...

Dear Daughter Livini,

Just after a long time I am writing to you. Hope everything is fine with you.

As I said last time, if you are not reading books much, what would have happened to you will be the same what had happened to your Podi Ammi; just live like a vegetable. No comments, no ideas, no values, no comparison, no analysis, no options, no answers, no responses, no creativity, no enjoyment, no judgment, no anger, no feeling and etc. etc.

Sometimes vegetables are better than ignorant people.

So, what you have to do is commit more time to read books whatever comes across to you. Don’t worry about what you are reading, but read it in very deep sense, line by line. This will make your imagination grow.

Think, if you start thinking about the universe now in the age of 12, when you are becoming my age, you probably have thoughts of 30 years old about the universe! For sure, those thoughts will be mature than anyone in your age at that future time. So, if you start reading something now, it will become more historical in your mind with time flows into future.

Keep in mind that, things we put in to our minds will be kept always live, unconsciously, I mean without our knowledge, making many connections inside the brain, with other ideas. So once we need the thing what we learned by reading something, this will come back with many other new ideas interwoven with it, by nature. This is sometimes very helpful to solve problems. We should deeply think about a problem and let it think about itself later while in sleep, will make it solved itself during our sleeping time and the answer will come to mind once you wake up from the sleep. This is very sure thing that you can experiment with.

That is why we need good sleep to keep our brain little rest. Brain is busy even when we are sleeping. So the brain itself thinks for you and solves most of your day to day problems without acknowledging you. This process hence we call it unconscious. Conscious means that we do think putting an effort, but unconscious will think without your effort.

So make sure, that effortless thinking nature in brain, to make use for your life.
So start reading “Sophie’s World”. That is the best book I can recommend to a small girl like you to read at this age. That book will implant many new questions in your mind, at this young age and will surely give answers from your unconscious mind whenever you need it in future, consciously.


You got talent Lishan, I mean it!

It is wonderful to see the background of “Short Dictionary of Misunderstood Words” decorated with Hegel, Lacan and Zizek. This wonderful layout was created by Lishan; I am so indebted to him. From a short request, he has painted full of his marvel on this pixel wall just the background of all the text is hanging on.

The development of this theme is quite an interesting story. I was in mind to put Zizek’s picture in the background just because I wanted a small pleasure of showing him in deep silence, as we all well aware that he is a public intellectual and make lot of noises all around the world. So I wanted him to show here bit silenced. In the mean time I wanted to show him as my most favorite writer, philosopher , critic, actor, presenter, speaker, lecturer, etc. may be we can put joker as well. He is quite humorous in most of his speeches, and people pay for his jokes when they are coming in books. This isn’t my idea, but Zizek’s.

Once the layout presented for the first time, not to mention the first version, Zizek was in the God’s position and posing a similar stance at reader while he is lying on a bed. Just this made my total aspect of keeping him in background a little nightmare and I asked Lishan to work it out a bit again to dissolve his gaze on the reader.

Second version came with the similar grid of pictures of Zizek himself again appearing in tiles whole background giving the same effect of Zizek’s authority; I was really frightened to keep such background, probably anyone seldom visiting this site might get the first impression that this blog belongs to Zizek. I never think if he might keep a blog in any known world to us, will never put his face there like we did here. Zizek is very much narcissistic on papers and books what he had written so far, but he doesn’t agree with the publishers of his articles on the past about one thing. How he appears on caricatures or cartoons; make him so upset and he depicts it the way he appears mostly on photographs like a criminal. This is a very ridiculous idea just Zizek keep in his mind or just kidding with.

Finally I got an idea of dissolving Zizek’s power over the blog background by keeping the 3x3 picture grid of Zizek to reduce dispersing Hegel, Lacan and Zizek in 2x1+2x1+5x1 proportion.

So the theme came on this form.

In the mean time I will put here my last conversation with Lishan:

This is quite interesting. :) I cannot say much about the difference of the previous to this one, again Zizek is now in a more hidden obscene dimension; rather dangerously interacting. Anyway if you commit little additional time on this, I can suggest simple solution to scatter the strength of Zizek over the background. 


I suggest you to put couple of pics of Hegel and Lacan and mixing those with rest to become it simply a balanced blog background, of course merging Hegel and Lacan into one, you can easily create Zizek, that's the real truth. ;)

Will you make this modification for the last?”

Lishan wrote me back:

“Done :)

“That is wonderful, excellent! You got talent Lishan, I mean it! :)”

I loved Joe by Subhadra Jayasundara

 “Bodies of victims of a building collapse lie numbered in a row in Savar, near Dhaka, Bangladesh, Wednesday, April 24, 2013. An eight-story building housing several garment factories collapsed near Bangladesh’s capital on Wednesday, killing dozens of people and trapping many more under a jumbled mess of concrete. Rescuers tried to cut through the debris with earthmovers, drilling machines and their bare hands.”
 Photo: A.M.Ahad,
Among other western brands, the brand Joe Fresh is found in the collapsed building.

I loved Joe
I loved Joe
I loved the simplicity of Joe

You are laid in rows

Instead of the horror of capitalism,
my eyes are focused on a color spectrum
and the depth of femininity

Your feet are uncovered a bit
through the gamut of rainbow color sarees,
showing cracked, lifeless toes
that had been holding the weight of life
till this unforseen end

My eyes and fingertips
searched for your mistakes
whenever I bought Joe……..
I demanded for perfection
for each penny I paid

Your hands might tremble in exhaustion
while your wedding rings were hurt by needles
forcing you to sell your last gold
That exact day,
you might miss one thread,
in the collar button of Joe
giving me a chance to value
the quality of your craftsmanship

I chose my Joe in sad colors
I found it elegant
I found it exquisite
Hadn’t you viewed your pain in colors
I wouldn’t have enjoyed your sorrows
by letting it touch my skin
under the elusive shades of Joe

I used to love Joe
I used to love the simplicity of Joe

Subhadra Jayasundara
2013 April

Well, it has been done!

This is quit complicated experience to have such thing happen in  my life. But it happened. I just don’t want to explain it. Let it moves along with me.
I do not need to be the most unequivocal gentleman on this society. I do need to show off my insanity and vulgarity as well, so I break rules intentionally and naturally.
What does it mean to me? Just it means lot to me. I am becoming one of you.
The chicken reports the scattering stair throughout our composite.
Well, it has been done!

Courier New- A Journal 08/02/2013

I think finally I agreed to use “Courier New”.

Don’t worry; it’s all about my “font” which I am using to type this stuff here. That’s it. Finish.

I do really want to know which type of fonts used by authors of bestselling books. I thought those were written using a special font other than the miraculous fonts freely available with Microsoft Word or other writing software, widely used in the arena of electronic word processing known to me, up to date.

Just for instance, I have seen a video documentary on Slavoj Zizek, and he used some kind of a special font in his clumsy looking old laptop, but “nonetheless” it caught my attention. I was thinking that there may be something in his own imagination and the intellectual credibility relates with the “font” he used to type! Such a great personality in front of an illuminated ludicrous small screen and the typing pad with yellowish natural colored background reminded me the same natural scent of papers printed with black ink; No I don’t think so. It is only an imagination of my own, briefly a very much stupid kind of. Best authors are writing just with their writing pad; never thinking of the font or the format. Just they write. That’s it, perhaps like me!

Ok, Just Few things more. The font, It must be courier new, ok. And the format must be “justified”. It doesn’t mean anything other than stretching text between two vertical limits of the page, equally spacing the words in between. That’s ok too. What else? Want to keep a “counter” on words. Just it is displaying in the bottom status line of this word pad, where I can see every and each time how many words has come from my mind into this typing pad or briefly “my progress” of writing.

Nonetheless I want to stop each level of writing or phase of writing exactly once it reaches the counter 255 words!

I don’t know what influenced me to select this number, but I prefer it will be the one breath of the writing lungs could take in a shot. Lest take it easy. I don’t want to make much trouble on making the “writing” more systematic. May be it will kill my thoughts from the beginning. So I am on the writing desk; my hands are on the typing key pad; my eyes are on the word screen; here I am going to infinite moments of creation. And stupidly I have reached very first 255 words right now!

How can I restart counting after reaching 255 words? No way. It is completely stupid to watch the line of counter to see the number of words continuously starting from 0 to 255 in each session of breathing. By the way, it isn’t easy job to get the multiplication products of 255 by each numeral increasing by unit continuously. Say for example I want to stop writing and look back at the each stoppage of 255 words. In that case I want to stop exactly at 255x2=510 but it is cumbersome event if I want to continue adding each 255. Just let’s stop the discussion here, right now. I don’t want appear to you to make myself so stupid about counting words other than putting things in order.

I forgot one last thing to mention about writing in the word processor, it is always keep things clear and much visible, if you turn your text lines doubled. This is right now I have done. So, one complete session of writing is being reaching to its end within few sentences from this point.

One larger or quite huge tantamount of content is waiting to put on to this word processor; here I suppose, the first milestone is kept. I would prefer if you had maintained your patience up to this line, you could have flown further with me in a many worlds of imaginary and symbolic, hereafter.


I lied. I had just not stopped at correct word counts at 255! (You will find below the reasons ARE!)


I actually tried my best to dig little bit of 255! First I found it has 3 prime factors, 3x5x17.

(Keep in mind that 157 is the first “apocalyptic power number” which will further explore at the end of this article. Look at those factors, they are showing the number 157 in a disguised form!)

Secondly, I found that the number made of those prime factors generate another complete prime, 3517! This sounds so nice, isn’t it?

And finally I knew that 255 could be derived from another 3 factors which aren’t seemed to be primes but irrational values. This basis irrational value is the square root of 21, SQRT (21), which will give these figures symbolically in linear combination with other numerals:

(SQRT (21) +19)/2 x (SQRT (21) +15)/2 x (SQRT (21)-9)/2

If, let’s say that 2x2x2=8 is a part of the multiplication, the denominator, it does mean that the value 255*8=2040 will be the multiplication result of (SQRT (21) +19) x (SQRT (21) +15) x (SQRT (21) -9).

So we get another equation of 3rd degree to solve as follows:

(X+19)(X+15)(X-9) =2040; one real solution for this equation will be 11.5204. Other two solutions are complex.

At 2040, my age will be 69! 6 and 9 are like evil and reciprocal of evil. Not so nice to hear the evilness at that age. Let’s forget it right now. We have bigger problems rather than dying on 69!

Now, again, forget about SQRT (21) or X. What does it mean 9, 15 and 19 to me?

It is having multiplication result exactly 2565; which is having kind relationship with 255 in vicinity!

It’s just coming “6” in between the 255, somewhere it changes whole value of the original, and 6 relates to some kind of evil again, we can’t forget it at this moment and hereinafter…

Let’s put together the prime factors of 2565 in order to get the number 91519.

What 91519 says about me? It has kind prime factors 71 and 1289.

It is easy to realize that 71 means to me is that my birth year.

What does 1289 says to me? Do we believe in previous births? No! I just don’t like that kind of argument here. If I believe in number of the beast, why don’t I believe in previous births either without good reason? Let’s say if I believe so year 1289 is related with some religious upheavals in the West, which I am not sure how my soul is to be connected with such. So simply I omit further analysis of 1289 as an historical aspect.

But still I can manipulate its numerical value with other mythical data.

Well, Wikipedia says:

“The number 1289 is called an apocalyptic power because 21289 contains the consecutive digits 666 (in decimal), as the Number of the Beast: in the sequence ..., 1281, 1285, 1286, 1289, 1290, 1298, 1301, etc.[1][2]

So the evil things are repeating. 6 appeared once before and again it appears in evil form depicting “number of the beast”, can’t just simply omit the consequences.

I think 255 is not a number to use as the basis of a writing count for me!


Courier New- A Journal